I absolutely LOVE hearing somebody lying, when I already know the truth.

Grandpa: When i was your age my momma would send me down to the store with $1 and I would come back with 5 bags of potatoes 2 loaves of bread, 3 bottles of milk a box of tea and 6 eggs but you cant do that these days to many stupid security cameras

6 of the worst pains in the world: 1) knocking your elbow or knee against a table or chair real hard. 2) burning your tongue on a hot drink. 3) stepping on a sharp rock or prickle. 4) paper cuts. 5) stubbing your toe 6) biting you tongue! like if you have experienced any of these excruciating pains before! ^ UM you sort of forgot getting kicked in the balls.. and childbirth... ^^You also forgot listening to "Friday" by Rebecca Black....

I love how, in scary movies, the person yells out, "Hello?" As if the bad guy is gonna be like, "Yeah, I"m in the kitchen! Want a sandwich?"

Boy : Do u wanna go out with me? Girl : Nahhhhhhhhhhhh Boy : Did u hear what i just said? Girl : Yea Boy : What did i say? Girl : Do you want to go out with me? Boy :Yes :D

If I ever wake up in a room with a bunch of people and a tape recorder that says, "Hello I want to play a game" i m gonna be pissed...

Policewoman: You are under arrest. Anything that you say can and will be held against you. driver: BOOBS!